So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
That accounts for only three of the penises
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
