Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
