i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
