Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
