If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
