we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Randomize
