why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
