ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
