I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
