ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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