Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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