im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
