hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
