dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
