its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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