he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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