you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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