I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
