I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
