We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize