I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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