i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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