I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
