I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
