we have pet lesbian snakes
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize