I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
