Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
