I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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