I hate all girls vehemently.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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