If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
