shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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