Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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