So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
