i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
