you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
