What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
