I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Holy sore nipples Batman
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
