So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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