I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
