it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
NoShamevember. You game?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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