Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
