You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
