No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
