i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She said her name was "party"
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
