I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
