at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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