I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You're like the curious george of whores
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I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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