don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
