Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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