omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
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she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
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I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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