Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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