I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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