umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I am spending my child support on dildos
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
