I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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