We're facebook friends in real life
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
