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It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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