yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
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Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
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At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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