OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
