the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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